Mouth shut.

I'll be back, soon! -continues hiding-

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday


Subway's Tuna claaaaaaaasic, :)
I'll love you until end of time, 'Rapunzel'.

Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like some things just aren't the same
What could I say?

Advocate.

If I say it like I mean it, then maybe I'll believe it like it true.
-
Expiration Dating & Collateral Misinformation.

Yeah, I knew you mean that !~*
*smug face*

Don't do this, don't.
Please.
Ewwww. I have to blame somebody. I wanna.
Ewww, no. Did you know that you were the last person I thought would fall out like this on me?
You didn't. You never meant a word that you said right. Right. But but but, I clung onto them like sponge to water.
I don't waaaaaaant. I don't want I don't want I don't want.
People grow up and change, you know. When you said that to explain Panic!, as much as you hated them to the core of your heart, I never thought that, that. It was a potential silent reply.
I don't want. Ewww, no. Ewww.

I don't want I don't want I don't want.
I don't want to smash into pieces like the shaker you gave me. Ewww.
I'm so loser. LOSER.
I am.
Eww.


"This song is about someone whom I love so much I didn't want her to leave me. Even though she didn't love me anymore."
-August 28 3:30 AM

I loved you more than you knew it, you know?
You don't.

Everyone, get Recover EP if you haven't already.


Wait, please don't go, I won't stay.
All these words on replay.
I'm okay, its alright, good to know that you're fine.

Automatic Loveletter / Juliet Simms<3

Maybe I relapsed.

Woah, emo, is all I can say looking back. What, whatever.
I should really get people lessons, that loserish understanding your friends books, because I'm not cool and I don't know what you're really trying to say.
What, whatever.
What are you hiding, and you say huh, no, whut, I'm not.

Oh it just struck me I should convince my dear confidante and whatnot about things, change and forget at least before my birthday. I should start trying to erase things I never knew I remembered about you, things I've said about you, turn it around and don't look back to say goodbye, I wish we had more and nothing rest us.

I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And it's so surreal




We strip each other's beauty and we push it to the end
We face each other smiling and leave it all unsaid

Goodnight & Goodbye 'Best Friend' Pretty Face </3

-

On other notes, justrealizeIsavedHaley'sreplytodraftsandwhatnot.
So, shoutout to Haley, God I missed you bb <3

For Krystal, Hey I'll prolly get slammed if I post you everything and anything to get me, so as I've said, anything and everything :D

Canthispleasebeapostandnotshoutoutboard.

Describe your new album in 3 words.
Preeeee-teee odd.
Should I get the Deluxe Edition or lame standard, Panic! Panic.

Sick puppies & free hugs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4


I know its supposed to be inspiring, smth that makes you feel that there's hope for this life. Smth that cheers you up after a bad, ugly day.
So why am I crying like this was the end. Maybe it is. Maybe its a chance for me to tell you that I missed you.I don't know if you did, I know you didn't, no really, but. Did you?

And when I wanted to maybe send you the link, you went off.
You never go off, not even at 2 last night, not even when you're supposed to.
But this time.
Just this time.

I'd never thought I'd ever have a half-real IM talk without crappy small talks and a overload of brainless HAHAHAHAHAs, but last night, me and Nat., - I'll show you what's real, and I wouldn't blame you/ give a shizz one bit if you ran away or licked your gossip lips maliciously. Jackal eyes.

23:32:17[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
next time we just sit somewhere with OUR awesome music.
stare at the sky, and all. ( :

23:53:54I say:
You've got words hanging on the tip of your tongue, its so far out and heavy that hell, you just want to say it, but its the lips that will always hold it back, because its not okay to be emo.

23:55:04[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
Yeah it never is.

23:55:14[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
People will judge you for it.
Think you can't handle your emotions well and etc,

00:09:18[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
You wait for someone to hold you up, but sometimes he/she doesn't.

00:09:19[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
You just falter and wilt.

00:10:01I say:
Sometimes you feel like everyone's not good enough. But somedays you're just all, its my problem. I am why I don't get it.

[/edit cut]

00:18:29I say:

00:20:20[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
Haha, eh you know. I know it's really extremely hard to trust someone.

00:20:32[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
Who knows when they going just stab you, be it front or back.

00:20:55[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
Sometimes, you just grow numb to it. Sometimes, thats really what hurts.

00:20:57[Natalie] Pictures Of You ( : says:
Esp if it's someone you love.

00:21:53I say:

Thing is, you've got one shot, you've got a million hungry eyes and a thousand gossip lips but just one in a millionth listening ear and sometimes you don't want to go forward anymore , don't wanna fight for anything, but then just like how you're in a crowd, a drunk pissed mosh pit, yes you see the exit and you try, try to make your way but then they drag you towards the stage anyways.

Cause its not like you can call in sick and cancel life.

But to have something like these, these words I could cling onto like sponge to water, its enough to get me through all the sunny, vain days of my bimbotic life.
What-fucking-ever. Hell to everyone who've said, thought, gossiped that I was one hell of a bimbo with no minddof mah own and no life. Hey, at least I don't spend my time having a big discussion on how ugly some random guy's Facebook photo was when for fuck's sake you only know someone who knows someone who knows someone he once knew- well you just wanna be a part of this (everything).

(In other less emo notes for the week)

Heyjay(le) AYEDAL pwnnnage alert! ;D
Bunny homedawgs & morning bites &ImustlearnJapanesewell & my new friend = half-real smiles and bigbig hugs ;D




Natgirlie <3
You know I mean it, this time in a ridiculously many times I've said it to everyone else.

So while everyone's playing with expiration dates that I can't understand and waiting for more clips that sound like- *inserts*

All along you've been so wrong
Oh have we missed something (In Swedish)

I've been random and feeling like this:


Which I know, ZOMG.

Its almost, almost Christmas and in case I don't get on thanks to crazy parties, MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVELIES!<3

Oh, its been so long.

So.
Alright posting for the sake of linking my non-slash reading friends, who are amazingly supportive still. I don't make sense. Okay, here it is anyway, Pretenses, Understatements and Pretty Lies 's first chapter, hope you guys like it!:)

<3

I'm gonna write a sixteen word song title and I'd fake it and say you were candy and nothing more than twenty-four.

If you're under the impression I'm alright.
I guess you never noticed.
I guess you might have known
I've been holding this together for so long.
But I guess you might have noticed.
Well I guess you...

Its crazy,I know. But thats my bipolar maniac,something,no I don't take it as something to self pity of...and thats not the point right now. Nothing else is the point,ad its just. Its like I'm writing you a million letters and discarding them,just because.

I'm hiding behind this wall and you'd always be on the other side.

Its alright,I'm somewhere crying but this time its not because I see your pretty face,that beautiful flush and happy,happy grin.
Everything I'd want to be,and could not,am not,will never,never be. Fine,I miss you,sometimes. And I want to see you again because I don't want our last memory to be us fighting.

You set me up to leave me,
You wanted to feel,
Shallow love, shallow lives.
With every word, you speak of what you wanted from me,you wanted from me.

I think you're happy to see me,because I want to think that way. (Who are you kidding?)
I think you mean what you've said,because I want to think that way.(Take back everything you've said.You never meant a word of it.)

I think I'm was in love.
Nevermind.

I'll you. I will. I want to you because that...thats better. It numbs,it wears me out and then... I'll think everything's gone. I wouldn't try remember you anyday. I wouldn't say your name again. I wouldn't.But I just, I don't want to forget.
For now. I want to your stupid,velvet voice. Something about that, I'll never,never ask anything. That happy,happy grin that made me cry inside everytime because its so,so beautiful. Don't you fake it;its only easy. Its too easy. I promised,I promised I'll wear it like you did just because someone said,life has to be lived. Doesn't matter if time just took back every single thing that you thought was yours. Like it was missent and "I'm sorry,but its not supposed to be yours, it doesn't belong to you,sorry."

Its alright if I give up everything to be alright. I'll be alright.
Nevermind.

This letter I have in my hands now,the one that would be in yours,not too long from now.

I don't know if its okay to tell her all that.Every little thing,this could end up with me hanging on the edge of precipice,again.
I'd always had a thing for histrionic statements,words. Something deep inside tells me it'd kill me,someday.
And it wasn't like I haven't seen.I had.
It was...lets just say bad...you know,miserable.

Now this,
And you...cunning cuteness or that friend I've always been looking for?

These words.Traumatically histrionic,would you tell?Besmirched this reputation darling,I can't say I've fallen too hard.

I couldn't bring myself to call,
except to call it quits.

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything.

You wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat.
For a minute out there,I thought of that swing again.And you.
If there was anything I could hold back,I'd want to be there again.

And this time, I wouldn't get off it even if the world had to crash.